I’m a serial monogamist, but I’ve often felt single

I’m that friend who always has a boyfriend. Sometimes I’m even shamed for it. “Oh, and on the reservation, can you add another spot? Of course Marissa needs to bring her boyfriend.” But after seven, eight, maybe nine relationships from my late teens to mid-20s, I have usually felt single. A guy might physically sit next to me sharing a charcuterie board, but emotionally, I am alone.