Going nuts for coconut oil

When it comes to makeup, I’m kind of a Buddhist. An advocate of minimalism, our buddy Buddha over here once said that liberating yourself from attachments is the road to emancipation. I remember being on a five-day canoe trip at summer camp about a decade ago and was one of the few girls who refrained from freaking out about a lack of toiletries. It’s not that I’m low maintenance, I would just hate to have to rely on material things to make me happy or confident or fulfilled. Needless to say, I had a fantastic time.

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Democritus also said that “Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul.” The soul he is referring to is of course this new massive jar of virgin organic coconut oil I just purchased from some pretentious health store. I had been reading about the myriad benefits of using all-natural cosmetics since all that lives on the surface of your skin gets absorbed into your bloodstream through your pores. I don’t know about you, but that scares the living daylights out of me. I’m not a huge makeup wearer to begin with, but I want to see what happens when I go makeup free for a week (like, not a streak of eyeliner, not dab of concealer) just to see how my skin reacts.

Yes, it’s vegan, yes, it’s organic, but I would recommend consuming it in moderation. This stuff is considered one of the worst cooking oils. At 53 grams of saturated fat (265% of your recommended daily value), you’re better off bathing in a tub of whipped cream while a male model feeds you donuts (I can arrange that for you, by the way). Saturated fat is the evil kind. Stick to heart-healthy polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats found in nuts, fish, avocados and olive oil.

It hasn’t even been an hour since I brought home my baby (weighing in at 6 pounds and 4 ounces, it’s a boy!), and I’ve already slathered my entire body in it. I feel like a piña colada. How do you guys incorporate coconut oil into your beauty routine?